The State of Michigan is in dire straits these days. They face a $1 billion deficit and are suffering a single-state recession. The unemployment rate has been hovering between 6.5% and 7% in recent months. The only state with worse unemployment than that is Mississippi, and they have a big 'ol hurricane to blame.

So, what have Michigan Democrats come up with?

They want taxpayers to pay for an iPod for every school child in the state. Did you hear a record-scratching noise when you read that? Did your jaw drop to the floor? Did you explode with vulgar swear words? If you didn't, let me repeat that one more time, this time I'll yell it...

THEY WANT TAXPAYERS TO PAY FOR AN IPOD FOR EVERY SCHOOL CHILD IN THE STATE!!!

Michigan, a state that already spends more than $10,000 per pupil to educate its children, wants to fund the extravagance of an iPod as well. Because, you know, it would improve their, uhh, education...or something. Knowing government inefficiency, they'd probably spend an average of $1,000 a piece and only half the kids would get them.

I still know a great many people back home. My parents still live there, most of my extended family, a lot of friends, etc. I have personally lobbied each and every one of them to ditch that sinking ship of a state. In the beginning, I felt bad about it. It was my home for the first 21 years of my life. I still feel a great affinity for it. But it's clear to me that nobody in a leadership position truly grasps the problem. Apparently, not a one of them understands basic economics. And at least a few don't understand that "free iPods for all" is an offensive policy.

This is no April Fool's joke. Satire and reality are done inching closer together, they just had a big crash. What's next, Michigan? Taxpayer-funded plasma televisions? Taxpayer-funded filet mignon dinners?

To quote the Detroit News, "Are they !#$!ing idiots?" Sadly, it seems that the answer is a resounding "yes."